Tag Archive: productivity


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I am still alive!

I’ve been having one hell of a time adjusting to my new work schedule. Not to mention, I’m working 40 hours a week at that 12am-8am shift. I like the job, but it’s exhausting, and I’m still trying to learn how to balance life with it. I’ve been writing, though, and I have about 20k words for the newest version of Seize the Day. I haven’t written anything (yet) today, and I’m going to try to get in at least 750 words so I can say just above the NaNoWriMo quotas. On my days off, I tend to find enough time to bang out about 4-5k, so those days have been helping me stay caught up.

This has just shown me that I CAN in fact write while working full-time, and I can continuously hit my personal writing goals. I just wish I worked a different shift, at this point. It is what it is, however. I actually worked last night, so I’m starting to feel the urge to collapse for 20 minutes. 

My characters continue to astound me, however. Jazz and Savin are moving so quickly — it’s all lust and love at first sight with them and it’s so weird, because every version of this story I’ve written so far, they’ve had to wait to be together. Now? Not so much. I’ve learned that the one night stand I’ve always seen them have is 100% true, and that it was Jazz who initiates their initial encounter. 

Savin, however, is pretty much immediately smitten and is the one who pushes for a more emotional connection. Which, of course, will make things more tragic as I continue to write this. We’ll see how it goes, though. I’m almost entirely winging this. I’m letting the characters guide the way, as it should be, when I write a first draft. They like to tell me the way, a lot of the time. 🙂

A snippet, of Jazz and Savin being… well, themselves:

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NaNoWriMo

Is it November yet? I swear, these days just keep getting longer and longer…

I started my job very early Monday morning (12am). I did manage to write about 1350 words yesterday, despite that. This week is basically a test drive up until Friday, so I can figure out how the hell I’m gonna manage to watch my kid and write my words and get some sleep during November. 

I’m also heavily crushing on a writer-friend of mine I met through LJ. His words have always taken my breath away, and getting to know him a little better has made that a little worse. 🙂 So I have romance on the brain, just a little bit, which is making me want to write even more — but right now, I’m trying to relax and let my brain settle and maybe nap (I woke up early this morning in an effort to help keep me vaguely on a schedule for tonight — when I go back in at midnight…).

I want to embark on this journey with the final draft so bad. I know I’m not going to go much over 50k — I’ve been averaging that the past few months, and while I like to make NaNo a challenge for myself (and last year, challenged myself to 90k a month or a finished book — and surpassed both goals), adjusting to working a crazy life of third shift and just plain working again after three years of NOT working, I think 50k will be a bit of a tough feat.

But I WILL write every day, and I WILL push myself to at least achieve that goal. Writing is my life. It’s who I am; it’s how I breathe — and I can never, ever forget that. 

Subject Optional

So for the past week or so, the ex has been leaving for work at around 5am. This morning, it was 3:30am. Since I live in the upstairs apartment, I have to come downstairs to take over the child-watch after she leaves. This means I’ve been getting up at these times, coming downstairs, and some mornings passing out on the couch while I wait for my child to wake up, or realizing my child is already awake and therefore entertaining him until he has to go to pre-school. 

Needless to say, I tend to post blog posts at night, and instead of blogging, I’ve been crashing at around 9pm. Since I haven’t written anything today, and since I have to pick up my brother from work after midnight, I’ll be up for a while yet and yes, I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning. 

Clearly, sleep and I haven’t been friends. Hell, writing and I haven’t been very friendly with one another, this past week. I’ve been trying to determine whether it’s a lack of inspiration (I’ve had dips before) or lack of motivation, and I’m not sure which it is. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Maybe my stress levels have gotten that high again. Either way, I’ve fallen behind of my goal for 2k words daily. I might be able to swing 2k tonight once I’m sure my kid’s fallen asleep, but that’ll still put me about 2k behind. 

Thing is, I don’t know what to write. I haven’t felt like writing smut, so I’ve been editing a couple of pieces instead that I intend to release as a group of shorts in one book. I did finish the rewrite and expansion of Just as Human. It went from 4k words in length to 14k words in length. I have been going back and forth on what my NaNo project should be (either finish Seize the Day or Stellar). I have fanfics I’ve started and stopped. Other works I need to edit in order to submit them to short story markets. Story ideas that are just rattling around in my brain, waiting to be used.

My life is a mess and I know that means my writing tends to get messy, too. I don’t feel blocked; uninspired and blocked aren’t the same things, to me. I know I need to work on Vicky & Mordecai soon, as well as the last chapter of Say What You Want. I know in November I’m not going to be uploading all that many books, either, to Amazon, because my NaNo project(s) will eat my soul. 

I’m hoping I can claw my way out of this, soon. 

So…

Apparently, my brain really, really wanted to write Savin/Mitchel smut. 

Like I really don’t get this aspect of my writing routine but there just get to be times where I crave a specific pairing and want to write it all the damn time, even of my own characters. And it’s a little frustrating with THIS particular pairing, because it’s not canon. Ever. EVER. 

I have a weakness for antagonistic relationships, okay? The more two characters hate one another in canon, the more I ship it. I just can’t help it. It’s a thing that’s left over from my fandom days — meaning when I was way more active in it. Y’know, when I was 12-15 years old. 

Also, I intend to sit down and construct a couple of “How to Write Smut” related blog posts. A friend of mine jokingly suggested I teach him how to write smut, which made me all flustered and blushy because HE IS A BETTER WRITER THAN I AM. I adore this man’s work, I really do. Still don’t have the balls the straight up tell him that but I have mentioned that he was my favorite both times he competed in LJ Idol with me. 😉 

One day I’ll be a little more organized. Still getting used to a lot of the major changes going on in my life, right now. It’s been a bumpy ride. Here’s some of that smut I’ll be finding a way to repurpose for my erotica penname, I’m sure…

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Busy Little Bee

You know those people who, when their lives start falling apart, they bury themselves in work and just kinda push themselves to figure shit out one day at a time. It’s also a great method to deny that shit’s falling apart. After all, if it’s not actively in your face and you’re doing work and you’re doing it well, how could anyone say you’re falling apart? 

I am that person.

And in the second half of May, my life unraveled at the seams. By July, all I had were a few threads painfully clinging to one another, unable to let go until the last, heartfelt tug was given and the knot broke apart. 

To say I was utterly broken would be an understatement. When writing doesn’t happen, when it’s painful to eek out 500 words in a day, I’m in bad shape. Writing is my work. Parenting is also my work. Cleaning the house, making sure everyone is taken care of — these are the things I do, the things I throw myself into when things are tough. When I can’t even do that….

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post about how my therapist says I’m not allowed to stop writing. That I need it. He’s not wrong. Word counts are how you know how well I’m functioning. Finished works are an indicator strip; the higher the number, the better I’m doing. 

Today, I submitted another erotica short for publication on Amazon — it was one I wrote a few months ago, that I edited to stand alone. I also wrote a 1400 word chapter for a fanfic, because I wanna play and not work. And I wrote 750 words for a novella I intend to publish when the time comes. It’s actually an expanded version of another short I published on Amazon; when this one is finished, I’m taking the short down. Tomorrow, I hope to submit a work or two to a magazine. Start the process of trying to get my non-erotica related name out there. 

After all, it’ll help when the time comes for my novels — the ones that aren’t purely erotic romance — to get published. I’d like to go the traditional route with them, if I can. We’ll see what happens. 

Until then, enjoy some fic, where Savin is basically me:

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