Tag Archive: daily report


Is it November yet? I swear, these days just keep getting longer and longer…

I started my job very early Monday morning (12am). I did manage to write about 1350 words yesterday, despite that. This week is basically a test drive up until Friday, so I can figure out how the hell I’m gonna manage to watch my kid and write my words and get some sleep during November. 

I’m also heavily crushing on a writer-friend of mine I met through LJ. His words have always taken my breath away, and getting to know him a little better has made that a little worse. 🙂 So I have romance on the brain, just a little bit, which is making me want to write even more — but right now, I’m trying to relax and let my brain settle and maybe nap (I woke up early this morning in an effort to help keep me vaguely on a schedule for tonight — when I go back in at midnight…).

I want to embark on this journey with the final draft so bad. I know I’m not going to go much over 50k — I’ve been averaging that the past few months, and while I like to make NaNo a challenge for myself (and last year, challenged myself to 90k a month or a finished book — and surpassed both goals), adjusting to working a crazy life of third shift and just plain working again after three years of NOT working, I think 50k will be a bit of a tough feat.

But I WILL write every day, and I WILL push myself to at least achieve that goal. Writing is my life. It’s who I am; it’s how I breathe — and I can never, ever forget that. 



Still working on the last installment of the Say What You Want series. I wrote another 1100 of it so far today and might not get a chance to add much more to it, either. However, it’s a start, and tomorrow I have my full child-free time. My first day on the job is Sunday night — I’m working 12-8am, every other night for my first week. I’m sure my second week’ll be a little different. Training and all that needing to be done and all. 

I am starting to figure out exactly how this piece ends — though I’m a little surprised it’s ending that way. Then again, this is what my characters do, so I shouldn’t be that surprised. And then once it’s complete, I’ll start trying to compile everything together. Vicky & Mordecai part 3 should go up tomorrow — just have to get the title page and the copyright page done and then it’s going up on Amazon. 

Part of me is borderline freaking out about this huge upheaval in my schedule, but I’ll find a way to work around it. I’m going to have to figure out how I’m going to write on the days where I have work — and how I’m going to get enough sleep. I’m sure I’ll figure something out. If I have to like permanently keep myself awake at night or keep weird wake-up times, I will. 

But I will keep writing and I will keep producing stories. I just need to figure out what my next erotic romance piece will be. 🙂 Until then, enjoy this chunk of Say… (still untitled) I wrote today. 😀

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Ah, time to think of another title…

So this morning I decided I was going to work on the next piece of the Say What You Want series. This will definitely be the last piece. And I’m not entirely sure how it ends — though I suspect the characters will inform me soon, since I’m roughly 2.5k into this chunk already. I struggled a bit getting started, though.

I’ve been struggling again, in terms of writing, anyway. Once I get enough inertia, I’m good, but over the weekend it was a struggle to hit 750 words on Saturday and on Sunday I scraped together 300, with three separate 100 word drabbles. Life is hectic. I was out with the local high school marching band all day Saturday; the words I wrote were all written while I was on the bus. And they weren’t very good words, either. Oh well.

I still haven’t quiiite figured out things for Gray Morning, which I think is going to have a title change to Seize the Day. I don’t see it being a trilogy anymore — Ryin’s story and dropping aspects of the world that pertained mostly to him (Natural Borns, and the genetic engineering, etc) seemed to cut the overall story quite short. Which is fine — I don’t mind it. I prefer stand-alone novels, anyway.

I’m just undecided whether I want it to BE a stand alone novel, or if it should have a sequel — and if I did a sequel, what the sequel would actually BE about. But, I’m filling the pieces together. And I really, really want this to be my NaNo project. And then after I finish this book, I’ll move on to finishing Stellar. Once Stellar is finished, I’ll go back and edit Seize the Day. Or well, maybe not editing it, but reading through it, picking out which pieces need to be changed and making revision notes. It’ll be a bit tedious, but I want to go the traditional publishing route with these novels. Once I’m done with making notes for Seize the Day, I’ll do the same thing for Stellar. 

In the meantime, I’m also going to have to balance those projects and my erotica, not to mention the short stories I’ll also be attempting to get published. All while likely managing a part-time job on top of it all. It’s going to be work. It’s going to be tough. But I know I can do it, and I know that I’ll find a way to push through all of the obstacles that are in front of me. Writing is my passion. It’s what I really, truly want to do with my life, and I will make it work. 

I want my writing income to become my primary source of income. Of course, learning to balance the writing job and the part-time real world job and the childrearing job is going to be exceptionally difficult. But, I will find a system that works for me. The goal is 50k words a month from here on out. More is great! But that’s what I want out of me, minimum. In 75 minutes, I can write 2000-2500 words — that’s what I did today. So I need to set that aside every day. Or twice that, every other day. 

But enough rambling, here’s a piece of what I wrote this morning:

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Sometimes, I just have to accept that when it comes to writing a story for the first time, I have no idea what’s going to happen in it, at all.

Take Vicky & Mordecai, for example. I started it as almost a “FUCK YOU!” to the billionaire erotica genre that exploded thanks to Fifty Shades of Gray. Same basic premise (billionaire dude who’s into BDSM picks up main character chick). Except my dude? Apparently actually abusive. I know that BDSM relationships themselves aren’t, this man just uses it as an excuse to be abusive, but not physically so.

Naturally, when this came to light, I decided that my protagonist was going to eventually leave this man, instead of staying in her relationship with him in an effort to “fix” him. Because I hate that, so much. So this part, I was supposed to writer growing doubts, maybe have a hot sex scene or two, but really? She was supposed to start really making the decision to leave.

This…kind of happens. Enter a third character:

Jennifer Watson. 

Jennifer Watson is one of Mordecai’s secretaries that he hired for legit reasons. She also becomes the one who outright points out how Mordecai’s treatment of his “companions” is sort of fucked up. She’s also a lesbian.

…You can see where I’m going with this, right? Of course, Vicky’s fascinated with her almost right away. While some of my story isn’t necessarily believable, I’ve basically set it up that Mordecai’s whole home office is aware of his proclivities. But Vicky’s also not really allowed to socialize with her coworkers.

But I just — I never expected for another challenger to appear and I especially didn’t expect it to be a woman. Not that I’m against writing femslash, I just — well, okay, I’ve never really written femslash before? And look, female body parts are annoying to describe in smut which is why I like, kinda avoided writing any f/f scenes. But uhhh, it’s where the story wants to go, so I will take it there.

Also, this part had so much sex in it it kinda surprised me/exhausted me on writing smut for a little while. But I’ll likely edit it over the weekend and get it up and ready for sale on Amazon by Tuesday at the latest.

One of these days my own writing won’t surprise me. One of these damn days…

(Oh, and have the part where Vicky met Jennifer…)

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Subject Optional

So for the past week or so, the ex has been leaving for work at around 5am. This morning, it was 3:30am. Since I live in the upstairs apartment, I have to come downstairs to take over the child-watch after she leaves. This means I’ve been getting up at these times, coming downstairs, and some mornings passing out on the couch while I wait for my child to wake up, or realizing my child is already awake and therefore entertaining him until he has to go to pre-school. 

Needless to say, I tend to post blog posts at night, and instead of blogging, I’ve been crashing at around 9pm. Since I haven’t written anything today, and since I have to pick up my brother from work after midnight, I’ll be up for a while yet and yes, I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning. 

Clearly, sleep and I haven’t been friends. Hell, writing and I haven’t been very friendly with one another, this past week. I’ve been trying to determine whether it’s a lack of inspiration (I’ve had dips before) or lack of motivation, and I’m not sure which it is. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Maybe my stress levels have gotten that high again. Either way, I’ve fallen behind of my goal for 2k words daily. I might be able to swing 2k tonight once I’m sure my kid’s fallen asleep, but that’ll still put me about 2k behind. 

Thing is, I don’t know what to write. I haven’t felt like writing smut, so I’ve been editing a couple of pieces instead that I intend to release as a group of shorts in one book. I did finish the rewrite and expansion of Just as Human. It went from 4k words in length to 14k words in length. I have been going back and forth on what my NaNo project should be (either finish Seize the Day or Stellar). I have fanfics I’ve started and stopped. Other works I need to edit in order to submit them to short story markets. Story ideas that are just rattling around in my brain, waiting to be used.

My life is a mess and I know that means my writing tends to get messy, too. I don’t feel blocked; uninspired and blocked aren’t the same things, to me. I know I need to work on Vicky & Mordecai soon, as well as the last chapter of Say What You Want. I know in November I’m not going to be uploading all that many books, either, to Amazon, because my NaNo project(s) will eat my soul. 

I’m hoping I can claw my way out of this, soon.