I am, for the third year in a row, successful in completing NaNoWriMo. The official count on the NaNo website is 50,886 words. The story isn’t finished, but my brain needs a break from Jazz and Savin so bad, it’s not even funny. Of course, I intend to finish the novel by the end of December — I suspect I have somewhere around another 30k to go before it’s complete. So that’s a paltry 1k words a day on average compared to the 1700ish I’ve managed this month.

But this win is huge, for me. I haven’t had averaged 1000 words a day in over a year. I haven’t had a 50k word month (this month I wrote 56.7k words in combination of my NaNo project and side projects) since November, 2013. Meaning, I haven’t done 50k in a month since last year’s NaNoWriMo.

I haven’t done this since I started working. I am exhausted, but proud of myself. I persevered. I hit the word goal.

And now I want to write something else.

I am so tired of Jazz and Savin, at the moment. I need a break from them and their drama. And while I’m still competing in LJ Idol, I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Shti’s getting pretty crazy, now that we’ve broken the Top 50. This week there’s an open vote poll, with the bottom three going home. On top of that, there is a contestant only vote, where we have to send Gary a list of 15 names, and he will tally up the votes, and the lowest 5-10 vote getters are going home.

That means 8-13 out of like…48 of us are leaving, this week. I think it’ll break at like 10 contestants going home. But that means 38 of us left.

And that means 13 more people I have to claw past to break into the top 25 — which is my personal goal and the whole reason why I haven’t quit this crazy competition, even when it interfered with me getting my NaNo words in. I’m not going to win; I knew that going in. I don’t have a fanbase like many others and I’m not willing to play the strategy angle. But I do want to break into the Top 25, just to say I did.

But right now, I’m just so exhausted from writing. I love it, I do. I like the book I have so far and I like how it shapes and fills in the gaps of GM — gaps I didn’t realize I had for a reason. So that’s wonderful. But now I need to write something mindless. Something different.

Or maybe I’ll just take a couple of days off from writing and go back to the grind on Wednesday, when I return to work. That sounds good, too.

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