I am stuck in between the infamous rock and hard place.
I am off this weekend, but it’s also my weekend with my child. In fact, I am off until Thanksgiving morning, where I work 6a-10a. A nice, short shift, and while I appreciate the holiday pay, I have to go back in at midnight for a 12a-7a shift, Friday morning.
To say I am displeased with this is a little bit of an understatement. Of course, I work the rest of the month from that point onward.
As my NaNo novel stands (still untitled, as I type this today), I am at roughly 31k words. I need to write something like 2k a day to finish on time. I have taken a break from it because I’m still in this crazy ass writing competition on LiveJournal. A friend threw down a challenge for us to write outside our comfort zones.
I had a great idea for doing just that, but I can’t quite get my brain to wrap around it and put words down on paper. I had a back up story, decided meh, I don’t like doing the same characters two weeks in a row. So of course, earlier today I had a different idea for our topic, “Gauntlet,” which involves Ryan and his universe, and him trying to incite the rest of the human race against the injustices their government has put them through — by lying about a Disease that was artificially created and meant to target those of a certain descent (those with fair skin and light features, like Ryan himself).
It’s a risky move, but Ryan’s ‘verse tends to do well in Idol polls. And honestly, I’m tired. I’m tired of competing. I just want to write my NaNo. I am tired of staring at polls every week and panicking because there’s a part of me that still wants to be in and get past the top 30 and well — I don’t think I’m doing that well, this year.
My writing process has been all over the place; my sleep schedule even more so. I need another 900 words of my NaNo at least for the day before I can call it quits, and honestly, I don’t know if I have it in me. I’m tired. And I started my Idol piece, which isn’t due until Tuesday, but part of me wants to just quit on that, too.
Thing is, I’ve written more words this month total than I have any other month in the past year. February was the only month where I averaged 1k a day. I’m averaging more than that with the words I have from my NaNo alone, and let’s not forget the words I’ve written for my Idol pieces. NaNoWriMo has done an amazing thing, showing me I can still write that 1-2k words a day, even when working. Which has been nice.
But damnit, I really want to win this month, too. I haven’t lost a year since 2012. I need this win. NEED.
I guess I will go back to writing, now.
My Writing Meta 
Well, you’re ahead of me. I haven’t written anything since last Saturday. I have almost 28k words. Sadly, it’s not even homework that is distracting me. Just me procrastinating. I haven’t done any homework this week (it’s all due tomorrow night). I’ve been watching Buffy and knitting. *hangs head in shame*
I’m ahead of you, but not by much. I’m trying to abuse the fact that I’m off until Thanksgiving morning, but Bob doesn’t have school ALL OF NEXT WEEK, which just depresses me because I really like/need my child-free time to recharge.
You’re so lucky that most of your kids are older. Bob just requires so much attention — like right now. He’s laid out across my lap, his head resting on my arm as I type. It makes concentrating on my writing (or typing anything, really) quite difficult. xD
I’ve managed a couple hundred more words at least since I made this post, but I have the feeling I’m going to be spending at least an hour after Bob goes to sleep trying to punch more words out. I wrote 3k yesterday. I would like to do that again.
I don’t think I could handle a clingy child, autistic or not. Jack is 4 and is perfectly fine off on his own as long as he has control of the remote.
They still drive me nuts when they are all home. They are in and out of my room every few minutes. Today it was my 8yo who wanted to work on a class project that apparently only I can help her with. Not to mention them coming in to sneak candy.
Luckily two of them disappeared to friends’ houses so there are only 3 at home. I think one plus of multiple kids is that they will entertain each other and don’t want or need mom’s constant attention.
Anyway, I ended up with a killer migraine and did nothing all day. Didn’t get homework done and didn’t write. I’m so screwed.
Bob is a weird combination of “clingy” (I wouldn’t even call him that, he just likes to lay on me, hah) and entirely too independent for his own good. Like he grabs the milk or his juice when he wants it and then brings me over to it to actually open. He knows how, but he knows he’s not supposed to do it himself. 🙂 The iPad has helped a lot with keeping him from sitting on me TOO much, but then I took the youtube app away (he was watching a few things that were creating undesirable behavior so I had to put my foot down, sigh).
I dunno, 5 kids just sounds exhausting. With Bob, I’m glad it’s just him, because he’s just so much work, right now. I couldn’t do all the running around I do for him for an additional child. With work, I’d be stretched too thin. 🙂 So kudos even if they do entertain each other, most of the time. xD
You can do it! I promise. 😀
I don’t think I could handle a job, especially when I had small kids. I had two toddlers and a baby at one point–there was no time to do anything but take care of kids, the house, cook, and laundry (there is always so much laundry).
Jack can’t reach the milk or anything, but he was ecstatic when he finally got tall enough to fill his own cup from the dispenser on the fridge (he was about 3–he’s very short for his age). He can do other things like make sandwiches and stuff, though.
He’s also figured out how to get to youtube videos using the TV (we have DirecTV). He watches nothing but videos about playing Super Mario Bros games all day long. Can you say obsessed? Keeps him out of my hair, though.
I think it’d depend on the job. I wish I could convince people I would make an amazing secretary or something, but, well, apparently I am destined to play in the retail/food service field 5ever, siiiigh.
Bob is kinda tall for 5, but he’s just super resourceful and smart. He will climb anything and everything to get what he wants. Example: pop-tarts are on the highest shelf in the pantry. He climbs the shelves of the pantry to reach them and then hands me two unopened pop-tart pouches. (sigh)
If Bob figured out how to use safari to get to youtube on his iPad, we’d be in trouble again. =p He really liked watching these video game videos where the kids were literally killing their character by making them fall on their head and whatnot — and Bob thought all the falling was hilarious…. Taking the app away has resulted in less Bob jumping off of stuff with the intention to “land” on his head.
I do miss him being out of my hair, though.
LOL at the head thing. Kids. That’s basically what Jack watches. There are ones that are just people playing the game and some where they are doing weird things.
The other day I sat down and watched over an hour of videos of this online game Happy Wheels. It’s all about getting silly characters through a maze of obstacles, but at every turn things happen and they lose limbs and die horrible deaths. The levels are all created by players. It was hilarious. Probably completely inappropriate for a 4yo, but I could not stop laughing.
Yeah, I would probably be okay with Bob watching that sort of thing if he didn’t want to imitate everything he watches. He repeats a lot of the things said, does a lot of the behavior exhibited in the videos, etc. It’s hard to get him to understand that some things, while they may be entertaining, should not be repeated/done at home. =p
And when his school calls me to talk to me about his behavior (he had a spike in acting out/climbing when he had otherwise improved a whole lot, behaviorally), well. I knew it was time to take hard action. He still watches youtube — it’s just through my phone or with me picking the videos and playing them through Chromecast. I think he enjoys GameGrumps, though — which is slightly more appropriate.
I will outright admit that I’m amused he doesn’t say fuck this or fuck that or fuck fuck fuck in general because my language in general is just awful. If you want proof that people say fuck as often as Devin does, I am that proof.
Luckily, Jack doesn’t imitate very much. He will pretend his hands are Luigi and Bowser and have them fight. He’s the only one of my kids with an imagination, I swear.
I do catch him swearing. Both my husband and I swear, along with our 14yo and 13yo. They aren’t supposed to, but what can you do? When they’re talking to me I don’t usually say anything (especially the 14yo–it’s kind of nice to not have to watch everything I say in front of her) about it unless it is excessive. They aren’t supposed to cuss in front of Jack, but… kids.
We all have this fear that Jack will go to school next year and I’ll be in the principal’s office the first day because he’ll cuss out the teacher or call another kid something bad–when he gets angry he’ll say some really mean things. And he hits. Normally he’s a very laid back, quiet kid, but upset him and ugh.
And I blame Sarah for my fucking swearing habit. Before I started helping her I barely ever swore, but fuck comes out of my mouth more often than any other swear word.
Yeah, if Bob didn’t imitate, I would. Or if he understood better why certain behaviors were undesirable, I’d probably let him watch them. But since we are not at a place where he doesn’t imitate/doesn’t seem to grasp why a behavior is not okay, well…
Every once in a while Bob repeats a couple of swears. But given his limited speech in general, I’m impressed that they’re not a more frequent part of his vocabulary. 😉
I don’t blame Sarah at all! My cursing habit is all my own. 😉