So for the past week or so, the ex has been leaving for work at around 5am. This morning, it was 3:30am. Since I live in the upstairs apartment, I have to come downstairs to take over the child-watch after she leaves. This means I’ve been getting up at these times, coming downstairs, and some mornings passing out on the couch while I wait for my child to wake up, or realizing my child is already awake and therefore entertaining him until he has to go to pre-school. 

Needless to say, I tend to post blog posts at night, and instead of blogging, I’ve been crashing at around 9pm. Since I haven’t written anything today, and since I have to pick up my brother from work after midnight, I’ll be up for a while yet and yes, I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning. 

Clearly, sleep and I haven’t been friends. Hell, writing and I haven’t been very friendly with one another, this past week. I’ve been trying to determine whether it’s a lack of inspiration (I’ve had dips before) or lack of motivation, and I’m not sure which it is. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Maybe my stress levels have gotten that high again. Either way, I’ve fallen behind of my goal for 2k words daily. I might be able to swing 2k tonight once I’m sure my kid’s fallen asleep, but that’ll still put me about 2k behind. 

Thing is, I don’t know what to write. I haven’t felt like writing smut, so I’ve been editing a couple of pieces instead that I intend to release as a group of shorts in one book. I did finish the rewrite and expansion of Just as Human. It went from 4k words in length to 14k words in length. I have been going back and forth on what my NaNo project should be (either finish Seize the Day or Stellar). I have fanfics I’ve started and stopped. Other works I need to edit in order to submit them to short story markets. Story ideas that are just rattling around in my brain, waiting to be used.

My life is a mess and I know that means my writing tends to get messy, too. I don’t feel blocked; uninspired and blocked aren’t the same things, to me. I know I need to work on Vicky & Mordecai soon, as well as the last chapter of Say What You Want. I know in November I’m not going to be uploading all that many books, either, to Amazon, because my NaNo project(s) will eat my soul. 

I’m hoping I can claw my way out of this, soon. 

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