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I hate Wednesdays. 

That is all.

Snippet:

To make things perfectly clear: Dustin and I are not friends. I’d be hesitant to even call him an acquaintance. Dustin is… shall we say, a man of weak caliber. He lacks control. He acts on impulse — he speaks long before he thinks, quite like a certain Emperor I know.

Which is a shame, as it is quite clear Dustin has a great deal of potential. If he could only learn to restrain himself, then…

Well, I’m not here to teach. Based on the sparse conversations I’ve had with him, he’s unwilling to learn, anyway. Content to remain where he is, inert, unmoving. I’m not positive that the boy has any ambitions — other than striving for the, ah, affections of other men.

I suspect, however, that he desires the affections of just one particular man. The way he kept discussing his roommate in his introduction for me speaks volumes — it’s quite clear Dustin thinks very highly of him. This “Jess” is obviously the man Dustin compares all other men to, including myself.

He speaks of it being hard to tell others about how one feels. Let me be frank: words don’t matter. Actions matter. I may be fond of words, but it’s my actions that speak the loudest.

And Dustin, your own actions speak even louder than you realize.

You hide your intelligence behind crass words simply because you don’t want it to be noticed. You pass your body around to many, in an effort to prove something: whether it’s to prove that you have worth, or that your body can be good for something, I don’t know. Nor do I care to know.

It’s all too clear you wouldn’t disclose the reason to me, anyway, should I want to know. You trust no one, except perhaps Jess. Even then, I can’t discern just how much you confide in him. You do, however, rely on him. You value his opinion first and foremost. Tell me, just what would you do, should he rebuff your affections? I’m certain that fear is what keeps you from moving forward. Do not give in to that fear.

Fear will only hold you back.

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