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Some days, you just gotta go with the flow. Finish the little, half-forgotten projects that have been collecting dust in those folders hidden away in Drive. Pick up those tiny projects and go, “Hey, you only have many 1000 more words to go, let me add those right now!”

And you do.

And it’s glorious. 

Of course, it certainly doesn’t help that one of those projects is nothing but pure smut, its flimsy plot revolving around getting two best friends to drunkenly fuck each other one evening. The other? Well, it’s not quite as short — seven chapters long as of this evening and counting, but that project is purely for fun. Purely for you to explore a plot thread that’ll never get explored in the trilogy’s canon, for you to split the main canon pairing up and to play with the least likely pairing ever. 

And that chapter comes easily — once you get over the fact that yeah, the unconventional pair are going to have phone sex right the fuck now instead of having an actual discussion of their relationship and where they really stand with one another. They do what they want. It’s not the canon, after all. You have less control over them in the For Fun Project than you do in the canon. 

But then something amazing happens. The partner left behind from the canon pairing? Has a surprising moment of clarity, as shown here:

My stomach is down at my feet one moment and trying to escape through my throat the next. Swallowing thickly, I ignore the stinging in my eyes. “You slept with him before we got married?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. Jazz sighs and nods his head slowly. “So — when Mitchel wanted to speak at our wedding –”

“He wanted to tell you that I had cheated on you with him, yes,” Jazz admits, his eyes filling with tears. “But he manipulated me, convinced me that sleeping with him was something I really wanted, and –” He pauses, biting his lip and collapsing onto the provided couch. “I just — I never felt so guilty about something in my fucking life, and I never wanted to tell you, and — I’m sorry.”

I nod my head slowly, sitting down beside him. “Manipulated you, how?” I dare to ask, locking my eyes with his.

“He just — he really had me convinced he cared, y’know?” Jazz says, sighing. He wipes his eyes and sniffs. “Had me convinced you were this awful person, used my own emotions against me to get me to give in to him. I mean, it didn’t help that we had slept together before you and I started dating, but — he just seemed to really care about me and he didn’t. He just — wanted me all to himself.”

Jazz turns to me, then, his eyes wide and sad. He reaches for my hand, interlocking our fingers together. “Look,” he starts, his voice shaking. “We both need to work things out for ourselves. If that –” He pauses, clearing his throat and closing his eyes as if to steel himself. “If that means you need to — to be with Mitchel, for the time being, fine. Just — just be careful, okay?” He squeezes my fingers and leans forward, brushing his lips against mine. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

And just like that, he’s getting up from the couch and letting go of me entirely. I’m totally fucking speechless, only managing a stiff nod as I watch him leave my hotel room.

Did he really just let me go that easily?

And sometimes, you feel as if you could actually learn something from your own characters. Because right now, you’re Jazz, and you need to let go.

Even if it’s the absolute last thing you want to do. 

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